Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
