so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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