is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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