im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
