after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
