People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
