Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
