Dual....:-)
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I cannot find my penis.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
