Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
