Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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