you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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