First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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