# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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