So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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