Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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