For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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