I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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