Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize