the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
