i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
