i need an iv and a liver transplant
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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