its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
