just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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