the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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