Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
zippers are such a cool invention
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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