You're my little dorito
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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