Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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