He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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