Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
