How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
