I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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