I just cut my nipple shaving
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Houston, we have a blender
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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