I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm passing your future prison.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
