Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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