We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
