Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
