there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
