Plan B is the new Plan A
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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