just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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