Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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