its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
