I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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