I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
