I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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