haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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