I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
