so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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