i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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