Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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