I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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