The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
