TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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