Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
