is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
