i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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