it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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