we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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