coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
