Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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