Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
