I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
