I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
