I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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