Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
